The World Has Forever Been Changed

The time we're living in now is unprecedented. As of April 10th, more than half the world is still ordered to continuing sheltering in place. There are 16 million Americans who have lost their jobs and the worldwide death toll from coronavirus has surpassed 101,000 amid about 1.6 million cases according to the Johns Hopkins University tally. My experience is not unique from others and only with help am I able to see that what I'm experiencing, what many of us are experiencing are reactions to trauma & loss. The world that we knew is gone. When this is over things will forever be changed. We will forever be changed. This is a documentation of that lived experience.

April 1-10, 2020

We all cope with trauma differently. I find myself being distracted by things I wouldn't normally fill my time with.

Shelter in place means staying in to keep others and myself safe.

Rationing out essentials. Who knew that this would become so precious.

My morning companion Neptune. It was hard to be lonely with her around.

Cleaning surfaces that are touched everyday is now part of my daily routine.

Connected and working...or am I?

Going out requires protective layers.

How can you stay home when your home is a tent on the street? Our most vulnerable are at risk

Essential Workers are exposing themselves everyday to allow us to stay at home.

All the precautions people & businesses take during this time. Barriers, protective gear, and marked places to stand.

Empty Streets. The Pearl district is normally one of the most challenging places to find parking.

I saw this discarded toy on the street and it encompassed much of what I've been feeling up to this point.

Reminders everywhere

Loss has a way of taking the color out of the world. The loss of my fur baby Neptune makes this much harder.

Occasionally there are crushing days where this is all that is manageable.

When feeling like having done something as simple as taking a shower makes you feel human.

Even if the only thing that can be accomplished that day is having made my bed. It's something.

I am determined to work & be productive. I can't lose everything I've worked so hard for

Finding relief in weekly dance parties. Even if it is an adjustment to figure out where to find it.

Apparently now I'm eligible for unemployment. As days pass financial concerns remain....

Accessible for the entire house to use. We're in this together even if it doesn't always feel that way

Do you ever find yourself staring in the fridge not hungry but wanting something?

Everything is an adjustment. Dj's, meetings, fitness classes all moved online.

Sometimes it takes multiple devices to be social. It's a reminder of my privilege...

After a while everyday begins to feel the same...

Too much time your head leads to all kinds of questions. How do you handle them?

The days blur together. A repetition of seeing the same four walls begins to question your sanity